The thoughts of an object-like being....
My new life is so different. I was declared their servant, so
I might as well try to be a good one and be queen-like to the best that I can. It
was decided for me without my say or opinions. I decided to go along with my
brother’s plan, even though I truly am not happy. I am now Hrothgar’s wife. I
decided to approach everyone in a calm manner and be as respectful as possible.
I am trying to be humble and to respect my new lord. I am adapting, well sort
of. I secretly miss my family, but I know I have to continue for the good of my
people. I will treat Hrothgar’s people as my own. However, I am lonely. I am
nostalgic for my past and I miss my old life. I am sad, sort of depressed but I
dare not show my true self. My real feelings would only create trouble, which I
cannot currently handle. I try to find time where I can ponder and truly think
about my situation, but I am never alone. I am always the subject, of affection
and of possession. I simply clutch my true feelings close to my heart and
continue on in my silent misery.
I have moments where I think I am happy; I am happy, but sad.
Can I ever be truly happy? I am not even appreciated. You would think they act
to one another as if I am there precious treasure, but I do not feel as though
that is the truth I am acknowledged only when need be and I am not respected
the way I would like. Well I guess life is not perfect and I will continue to
smile and hid myself.
Why does Grendel hate me? If he is trying to prove a point to
my new lord why is he taking his blame out on me? I am scared and I cannot hide
my emotions. Please, protect me, someone, please. I am alone with this monster
and defenseless. Anyone, someone, will you help me? Finally, I was freed, but
no thanks to them. They pretended to be so happy I was okay, but really they
did not care about me, but their “treasure” was secure. I am nothing more but
an object of possession and not a being with feelings. Without me the kingdom
would fall apart.
